Round 4, 2007

In what was an otherwise disappointing day for Carlton fans, Cameron Cloke’s last quarter hip and shoulder on Adam Selwood showed aggression that has been a feature of his debut games with the Blues. Whilst the bump ensured that the young Eagle’s controversial week didn’t get any better, Cloke’s efforts, along with the return to form of Matthew Lappin, ensured that Carlton has some positives to take into its home game against Brisbane on Saturday evening. Mike and Dan caught up with Cameron to discuss his ‘Play of the Week’ and his role in the club’s new onball division.

We noticed there were a few choice words exchanged with Daniel Chick after you bumped into Selwood...

Yeah it wasn’t much - just the usual argy bargy, just the usual stuff that goes on during the game. It had been an interesting week for them but they played just as normal as any other club, no different to what we expected.

There's another Selwood that might get drafted this year. That would make 4 of them. With soon-to-be 4 Selwoods on the loose, are you hoping Jason gets another chance at AFL just to even up the numbers if it gets to a family feud?

• laughs* Nah, the Selwoods are all good blokes, I played a lot of junior footy with them and there was no personal malice involved in the bump on Sunday, I didn’t even know it was him until afterwards. I would be great if Jason got picked up again though, I think only the Danihers have had the four brothers play in the one game, so it would be fantastic for the family.

Jason played his first game on the weekend after coming back from suspension, I wasn’t able to watch it though as I was in Perth. He’ll just be looking for a consistent year this year, and if I get the time I will definitely go and watch him. I’m went along yesterday to watch Trav yesterday and I’ll watch Jason on the weekend, they usually come to all of my games when they can too.

In the match previews and planning, what role was outlined for you on Sunday? Were you expected to play a kick behind play, run forward - or a combination of both?

My instructions were to pretty much do what I’ve been doing so far this year, which means getting into the hole in the backline and helping out our defenders. I always try to win the ruck contests, but if the opposition ruckman starts to get on top, my role is to try and neutralize his impact.

It must have been a frustrating day out there for the players. How do you keep running and contesting when you know the cause is lost?

No doubt that losses like that are very disappointing and frustrating for the players and fans. When you are in a position like that and so far behind at three quarter time, you just want to win the quarter and get respect. Unfortunately they got a couple of early goals in the last quarter and put us on the back foot again, so we had to start chipping away at the lead again.

We believe that we are never out of the contest, as we showed in the game against Essendon. Dennis just told us at three quarter time to go out and do the fundamentals, as we had been missing our targets all day.

It is unusual for a bump to given Play of the Week but we just couldn't seem to take a trick out there. How much did the conditions contribute to our poor play?

The conditions changed dramatically, it was very hot one minute and hailing the next minute. It changed pretty quickly and West Coast adapted much better than us. We knew before the game that the rain was going to come in and fall pretty heavily, but I don’t think anyone could tell that it would get that bad so quickly.

West Coast are an awesome team and we thought we could have matched them, but their pressure was better than ours and they adapted to the rain more quickly and put themselves into what turned out to be a winning position quite early in the game.

Over time with Collingwood or Williamstown I have played in some pretty miserable days and wasn’t too phased about the weather on Sunday. Sometimes we train in the rain, and although it seems to be rare these days, we really take the opportunity to get out there when its wet as it is great practise.

Has Waitey sent an angry letter and a voucher for an optometrist to that Goal umpire yet?

I didn’t see the incident, we weren’t quite aware of it on the field at the time. I wasn’t far away from Fev’s report though, and I don’t think he’s got much to worry about.

When you see a bloke like Judd do what he does at close quarters, do you also go 'wow', like the rest of us?

Juddy is a superstar, and one advantage of a game like Sunday’s is that the boys can really get a lot out of it from watching someone so classy. Cox is a bit like that too, and it was a good opportunity for me to learn from watching him and the way he gets around the ground. We always take the opportunity to learn from our experiences when playing the best teams and against the best players.

After a loss like that, what is the mood in the change rooms? When is it OK to crack a smile or a joke? How long do the effects of the loss last before you concentrate on the next game?

After the game, everyone was a bit down, but we have to learn from our mistakes and move on quickly as there is not enough time to be negative, you have to start concentrating on the game next week.

Usually on the Monday the day after the game we review and analyse the match and learn as much as we can from it. Then we start our planning and preparation for the next game and really focus on matching it with the opposition.

You've played in some big matches for your old club - how does that compare to playing for the navy blue?

Its been really good, nothing compares so far to the Anzac Day clashes but I’m really looking forward to playing in games even bigger than that with the Blues.

Do you reckon you would have preferred to have played in the same era as your dad, when ruckmen were shorter, and physical 'activity' still had a place in the game?

No I wouldn’t say so, footy has changed completely since my Dad was playing, and he will probably want to argue it but the skills are much better now. Dad really didn’t have to do much in his day!

What are your goals for the rest of the season? How will you measure if you’ve been successful?

I just want to play every game this year and make an impact. I’m going to take it week by week and play some good footy. The only way to measure our success is to make finals, and I can’t see why we can’t make finals this year if we play some consistent footy over the home and away season.

What is it like working with one of the best ruckmen ever in Gary Dempsey? Is it intimidating working with someone who is so decorated?

No Gary is not intimidating in the way he goes about things. I am learning so much from things that he shows us, he is a lot taller than us and is big and strong, and gives us new tricks and tips and help with different aspects of our game.

We’ve got a new ruck division this year and we help each other out and give feedback when we can, it’s a really good group to be around.

Anything you want to say about your teammates? Who is the most annoying, has the most or least amount of luck with the ladies, or pays too much time to their personal grooming?

I have to say that Ryan Jackson pays a lot time to personal grooming, and even more than that he thinks he’s pretty good with ladies but we’ve never actually seen him with any!

Cloke’s physical presence, second efforts and enthusiasm for his new club have been features of Carlton’s start to the season. The Blues next few weeks against Brisbane, St Kilda and Collingwood will be crucial to its fortunes this year, and if Cloke can keep making consistent contributions to the team and setting an example with his one-percenters, the Blues will be on the way to making an impact this year.

Men and women of Carlton (Digs and Bluebelles)

In the well-known card game 500, a laydown misere occurs when the hand you have been dealt is so weak, it doesn’t need to be played but just laid out on the table for the world to see. That’s what happened to our brave boys on the Western Front on Sunday.

I have no other scientific explanation for the Bluebaggers inability to defeat the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant’s two ninja mutant turtles with numbers 3 and 4 on their backs. Last year, we were 44 points up in the last quarter when Springfield did to us what we did to Essendon the previous week.

They reckon it will cost more than a $1 million to secure the signature of Chris Judd if he chooses to leave Perth at the end of the season and comes home to Melbourne. You don’t have to be Einstein to realise that on this performance it would be money well spent. When the heavens opened in the first quarter and filled the Springfield Oval to the brim, Judd acted like a Cartesian diver bobbing up and down with the ball in his hands.

Have you ever noticed the facial similarities between Chris Judd and Mr Burns from The Simpsons? Mr Burns has always suffered from a bad press but we reckon it would be “excellent” if he escaped from all the trouble in Springfield and pulled on a Carlton jumper “with all the champions, they like to send us”.

Weird Uncle Einstein use to always say that beneath every great AFL player, there is a Carlton player struggling to get out. How true is that? Mr Burns would fit in so nicely in the Princes Park locker room. We would have to find a new number for him because there is no way that Our Murph would ever give up his cherished number 3.

We are told that inside Mr Burns’ mansion in Springfield there is a room containing a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chess board, the largest television in the free world, a 'Hall of Patriots' commemorating his ancestors, a laboratory, a botanical garden of vultures bearing his likeness, a safe containing a Beefeater guard, and a theatre showing round-the-clock plays regardless of whether there is an audience. How cool is that?

He sounds very much like that Frenchy philosopher Rene Descartes that we told you about the other week. Like Mr Burns, Mr Descartes made a fortune playing the stockmarket. But Descartes's true idiosyncratic genius was epitomised by his tendency to work in a large bread oven where he spent much time meditating. We kid you not.

At some stage I suppose we are going to have to talk about the football – but I think I’ll leave that till next week when we play Fitzroy at the Optus Dome. On Wednesday, some small comforting pleasure may be derived from watching Collingwood and Essendon engage in the annual mutual disemboweling exercise that I know is so dear to your heart.

Gold skullcaps this week go to the Four Goal-kickers of the Apocalypse, Skinny Lappin, Fish Fisher, Scotto Scotland, and the Fev Jezzavola. Silvers go to Joey Anderson for his first game and Cloakroom Cloke for knocking-up the man in the spotlight from Springfield in the last quarter.

We leave you this week with the last image from the changerooms as the Baggers did their warm-down to the tune of the Donkey Serenade:

There's a song in the air/But the fair senorita doesn't seem to care/For the song in the air./Oh, I'll sing to the mule/If you're sure she won't think that I am just a fool/Serenading a mule./She'd love to sing it too if only she knew the way./But try as she may, in her voice there's a flaw/And all that the lady can say/Is hee-haw-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w/Senorita, donkey's feet are/Not so fleet as a mosquito/But so sweet like my Chiquita/You're the one for me!/Ole!/

Carna Blues! Don’t let the lion sleep tonight. – TERRY MAHER.